Take Me Out….

I’ve always enjoyed the Saturday night TV schedule, whether it be because of Doctor Who, Strictly Come Dancing or Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Until this show came along. Presented by Paddy McGuinness (who’s only real notable TV credit has been Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights, which was great) the general gist of the show is that a man comes down in a lift to the joy and delight of 30 single and desperate women, who each have a buzzer.

And in true E-harmony style, the guy then has to proclaim to the single women why they should let him take them out on a date through various different stages that show both his profession and his lifestyle. If they don’t like him, they press their buzzer. 

So, Matt – what happens if all 30 women turn off their lights? I’m glad you asked. This never usually happens, but sometimes it does. Basically, Paddy tells the guy in question that he’s failed to score a date – and then asks him to piss off by walking up the stairs to the tune of ‘All By Myself’ – whilst all the girls sway back and forth….god that’s got to be a huge confident boost for someone, right? To not only be rejected by 30 women, but to be rejected by them on national TV?

If the guy does score a date with one of these ‘lovely’ ladies, then they are both jetted off to….Manchester’s hippest bar, Fernandos. At least other game shows have good prizes, like holidays to Barbados and Hawaii.

Unfortunately, I have to ridicule yet another show because of ridiculous catchphrases – Paddy has a ton of them, the well-known one being: “No likey, no lighty”. Some of the others are really tacky and Butlins styled such as: ‘Let the pina, see the colada.” and ‘Let the apple, see the crumble’. Who knows who invented these stupid lines up. If it was you Paddy, shame on you. Go back to doing stand-up, or sitcoms. You’re good at that.

In general, the show is monumental trash, and I bet you Cilla is banging her head against a brick wall – as Take Me Out is really trying it’s hardest to be the next Blind Date, but failing all the boxes by being cheap, dodgy and dire TV.

Seriously, all the women, all the men – why lower yourself to the standards of an Essex tart like this? Andy Warhol said in 1968 that everyone “in the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”. Why waste it on a show which shows you to be desperate for fame, sex and money?


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